As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
