thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
