Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
