Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
