Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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