I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
