So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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