Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
