she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
