he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
