Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The air taste purple.
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