So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
