But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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