garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
