i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
