The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize