Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Randomize
