You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
