he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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