I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
