Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
