Define "chronic" masturbator.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
