Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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