i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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