just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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