she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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