idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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