toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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