I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
