Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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