think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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