she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
