you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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