Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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