Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
