He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
