There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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