Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
