you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
