dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I faked an abortion last night.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
