some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
