Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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