I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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