You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
