so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
