Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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