did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
