So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
