One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We're hate flirting, damnit.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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