his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
